love and the paper(back) reader

“Dreams are like paper: they tear so easily”    ― Gilda Radner

 My daughter said the most amazing thing to me the other day, completely unsolicited:

“Mom, I love the smell of paper! I love the way it feels and sounds and smells. Especially old paper. There’s nothing like it.”

Amazing. Especially in this electronic age.

back to the future: that's the power of love

In one of my previous posts, I shared a 'bad mommy moment' I had with my daughter, one that involved the term "BFF". I shared that, even though I've had some wonderful and close friendships, I wasn't sure I ever had one of those.

Truth is, I did. Until I changed the meaning of the acronym to "Blow Friendship Forever". 

A long time ago, while I was living in Columbia (SC), I met a girl who was a lot like me. Ok, other than the fact that she was a New York Jew and I was a WASP so Southern that I had an uncle named Stonewall Jackson, we were a lot alike. Smart, nerdy, sarcastic, pale, and red-headed, we both always felt a little like outsiders no matter where we were.

in the sweet by-and-by: remembering Helen

Today my blog is a love song for my family in honor and celebration of the birthday of my late Aunt Helen.

Helen was my father’s eldest sister. Although she was only 7 years older than my dad, she seemed to take a motherly role with him. Maybe it’s because he was the only boy born in the middle of a passel of sisters, or maybe it’s because she was the quintessential Big Sister. Or, maybe, it’s because that’s just how she rolled.

learn to be still: reflecting on the 49th parallel

Last Friday I turned 49. That’s a big number. All around the world, there are monuments on or near the 49^th parallel.  Including Paris. 49 is a big deal.

Although, to me, my birthday is always a big deal. 

I was groomed to be a complete Birthday Diva. Birthdays are the only time in my life when I consider myself high maintenance. I can remember years when my birthday ran not for one day, but for a week or more. As a child I always cried while my family sang “Happy Birthday” to me. Not sure why. If I ever decide to go back into therapy, maybe I’ll see what we can dig up on that one.

This year I wanted no tears, and no regrets. Since 49 is a big deal – like “one year from the Mid-Century mark” big - I wanted this year to be special in a deep sense. I wanted to do some planning.  Build some monuments of my own.

honesty is such a lonely word: authentic living

We live in the Age of the Fraud. Look at just three recent headlines:

• A lauded athlete who is admired by many and recognized for his athletic prowess, for successfully fighting cancer, and for creating an influential nonprofit that benefits millions, finally admits all his wins were due to his use of performance enhancing drugs.
• Another athlete’s tear-inducing story of tenacious perseverance through the death of his grandmother and girlfriend loses respect when the public learns neither the grandmother’s death nor the existence of the girlfriend can be validated.
• An author writes a best-selling memoir about her traumatic upbringing in a Los Angeles foster home and subsequent decline into the drug gang life, only to later admit she grew up in a privileged home with her biological parents, attended private parochial schools, and has never been in a gang.

This is a small sample of people in the recent news who have proven to be frauds.

"do you know where you're going to?" - making goals

I’m a little late making New Year’s resolutions. I had them in my head at the end of 2012, but figured if I made them too early they would suffer the typical premature death by now. I thought I’d just hold off until the rush had passed in hopes they’d have more staying power.

Am I the only one who waited?

This year I’m writing down my resolutions. AKA, “goals”.

Why does that word freak me out so much?

My daddy always told me to make goals. Goals for next month, 3 months, 6 months, a year, 5 years, 10 years, etc. 

But making them wasn’t enough. He said I needed to write them down.

“If you don’t set any goals, you won’t go anywhere. But you have to write ‘em down, set some sign posts. Otherwise you won’t remember where you started or whether you ended up where you wanted. Set ‘em, write ‘em down, change ‘em if you need to – but don’t spend your life going nowhere.”

Wise words.

Too bad I didn’t heed them.